Waiting on the world to change.

I just read his reply on my e-mail dated Dec. 11, 2011. I wanna cry. I don’t know what to say. He is still suffering, emotionally. Nanghihina ako. I wish I could turn back time. Ako na lang sana, not his Mom. Am I selfish? I wish I could erase the pain.

I miss him, still.

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I’ve been struggling with something unknown. It’s been 3 weeks now. But I’m happy and thankful. Unti unti ng tinatanggap ng aking katawan kung ano man ito. It’s been really hard. I have to stop working, stop drinking, stop smoking. Have to stay at home. The doctor said I need to rest my body. I’ve been praying, and praying. Salamat at buhay parin ako hanggang ngayon. Naalala pa rin kita. Miss kita. I know you’re out there. Somewhere out there. Sana naalala mo rin ako, Pao.

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Last time I talked to you
You were lonely and out of place
You were looking down on me
Lost out in space
We laid underneath the stars
Strung out and feeling brave
I watched the red orange glow
I watched you float away
Down here in the atmosphere
Garbage and city lights
You’ve gone to save your tired soul
You’ve gone to save our lives
I turned on the radio
To find you on satellite
I’m waiting for this sky to fall
I’m waiting for a sign
All we are
Is all so far

You’re falling back to me
You’re a star that I can see
I know you’re out there
Somewhere out there
You’re falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you’re out there
Somewhere out there
Hope you remember me
When you’re home sick
and need a change
I miss your purple hair
I miss the way you taste
I know you’ll come back someday
On a bed of nails I’ll wait
I’m praying that you don’t burn out
Or fade away
All we are
Is all so far

You’re falling back to me
You’re a star that I can see
I know you’re out there
Somewhere out there
You’re falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you’re out there
Somewhere out there
You’re falling back to me
You’re a star that I can see
I know you’re out there
You’re falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you’re out there
Somewhere out there
You’re falling back to me
You’re a star that I can see
I know you’re out there
Somewhere out there
You’re falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you’re out there
Somewhere out there
You’re falling back to me
I know
I know
You’re falling out of reach
I know

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Why must everything be so hard?

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